This morning, we completed all of our registration and interviews for Alexander’s adoption into our family through the Shanxi provincial government in downtown Taiyuan. It’s a little comical that we’re here, because although he was found in Shanxi province, he was transferred to a foster home in Beijing and was there up until early yesterday morning. His caregiver and nurse both traveled from Beijing (where we just came from!) to Taiyuan to assist with the placement.
Because Alexander has a pretty severe cleft, eating is a major challenge for him. Up until about a month ago, the foster home used a naso-gastric tube for his feedings, but they were successful in transitioning him to a bottle before placement. Yesterday was a challenge, to say the least, in learning how to feed him and understanding our little man. Thanks to our agency representative and the Beijing nurse, we were all sitting around in our hotel room while we watched Alexander demonstrate how he likes to eat. Through trial and error, this morning, we came to the conclusion that he uses his pacifier as a tool to close his cleft lip in order to swallow. What initially seemed like a really stubborn boy who kept putting his pacifier in while we were trying to feed him was actually him trying to swallow after each sip. Once we learned his technique, we were in business. The foster home, nurses, and doctor all said that he was a fussy eater– but we’ve found out that he just has a very specific method. By the time we got back to Civil Affairs this morning, we had our routine down, and all the officials and staff seemed really relieved that we are starting to unravel the logic of this tiny boy.
Registration and interviews were uneventful. I fed Alexander (he needs to eat every 3 hours) while answering pretty hefty questions asked by the government official — why do you want to be this boy’s parent? Do you understand what you’re doing? Our answers were sufficient, and soon we were signing papers and sealing with our fingerprints. Little Alexander had to provide a footprint– which he was NOT thrilled about.
Now, we’re free to relax until our trip tomorrow to Pingyao. Unfortunately, Taiyuan isn’t the most tourist-friendly city, and the environmental conditions are very unpleasant. I’m sure you’ve read about pollution levels in Beijing, and Taiyuan makes Beijing look fantastic. Shanxi is known as the country’s supplier of coal– and Taiyuan’s appearance looks like Pittsburgh circa 1920. Yesterday after a big rain storm, on our way to meet Alexander, the sky was blue– everyone was standing around and pointing up; apparently they get about 2 weeks of blue sky a year! Today, sadly it was back to a cloudy grey– with the smog making most buildings hard to see from our hotel room window. We ventured out yesterday but realized pretty quickly that there’s very little way to tell what buildings are restaurants, which are pharmacies, and which are office buildings. The only buildings we can decipher are governmental ones, because they are massive and usually well-guarded. We see room service and talking quietly while our little man naps in our future!
Brian showing Alexander a family album
It wasn’t quite as much paperwork as a mortgage, but we understood it even less.
Alexander makes his mark, with his foot.
Our family with two officials from the Social Welfare Institute
The kid zonked once we got back in the car.
What a gorgeous boy! Congratulations to the three of you!
This is such a pleasure to read. And good for you for figuring out the suction/pacifier connection. He sounds like a smart kid! Can you feed him with a spoon? If so, is the pacifier in during the process?
The pictures looked like the process was not too bureaucratic – even pleasant.
How big is your city? Coal, yes, but also mills? Are they making steel there? And Brian, you “old school” father doesn’t get the initials.
The spoon hasn’t worked so far. I tried a spoon with formula, and we later tried a spoon with baby food, and neither were received well.
That’s okay, though. Until we get home, we don’t plan on challenging him much more than we already are. It’s survival mode here. If he doesn’t like something, we can wait a couple of weeks until we’re under our roof to push him.
And to your geography-type questions… Taiyuan is a big city, with more than 4 million. They mine coal in the area, and they process the coal. It’s very hazy pretty much all the time. It’s worse than I’ve ever seen in a big city. From what I’ve read, it has among the worst air quality in China. It seems like steel is a big industry here as well, but our guide has referred to Taiyuan as the energy capital of China; the coal is mostly for electricity, Beijing’s in particular.
It is hard to put into words the joy that I feel in looking at these pictures. From what you have said, it sounds like Alexander is a very smart little guy and so are his parents in letting him lead the way in his eating routine. All three of you look right at home with each other; a beautiful family.
I can’t wait to see all of you and to hold our new grandson.
Much love and blessings to you.
Kathleen and Brian I commend you on your commentary for each day- wow what a journal!
I too appreciate the photos of the little guy and his two marvelous parents. It is really wonderful to see you all growing together and so quickly! The challenges will be there for sure but both of you are showing a tremendous passion for being parents as evidenced by your ability to determine eating processes of a very intelligent young boy–when others didn’t quite understand the particulars. The Lord is already training all of your senses to acutely recognize both Alexander’s needs but also how adaptable he has become in his young life to his circumstances. Watching all of this unfold is truly amazing and the love you have for the little guy will just keep getting deeper and larger as you all continue to get to know each other as each day passes.
God Bless You All and safe travels.
Carl
Congratulations, Kelly family on your big day!! So excited to hear about your first adventures as a family of three. 🙂 We miss you guys, and can’t wait to give all 3 of you a big hug next time we’re out your way!
Totally crying as I read your blog. Jeesh. This is so amazing and you look so happy and so at home with your wonderful new son.
And Brian, it looks more as though Alexander is showing YOU the pictures!!
FYI – in the US, car seats are required when transporting children in a car.
We just got back from a road trip, an hour and half each way. We just held him the whole way. We even passed him back and forth a few times. I don’t see what the big deal with car seats is! j/k. Yeah, it’s weird; apparently there’s very little regulation here about these things. It’ll be nice to get him into a car seat once we’re home.
I just can’t stop looking at your pictures! There have plenty of happy tears in the Salinger household…Benjamin will say “Mama. Eye.” And indicate that I need a tissue. 🙂
Seriously though, it sounds like you’re doing a great job figuring out your son and how to survive in country. You’re amazing. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us.