It’s been far too long since Brian has witnessed me have a meltdown at a UPS/FedEx store. Well, it’s about time! Continue reading
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Tag Archives: Parenthood
China: “It’s official. He’s your son.”
Finally! After more than 50 long days of waiting for a DHL truck to arrive, it’s here! Continue reading
44 pounds
44 lbs.
No, that is NOT Alexander’s current weight! Our little guy, like many internationally adopted children, is very small for his age. Although he turns one early next month, his measurements and weight are much more in line with a child less than half his age. Though that caused some initial panic from us, our medical team ensured us that he’ll sprout up and fatten out as soon as we get him home and on a more advanced diet. Additionally, because of his medical condition, eating is a much more laborious task.
So back to the 44 lbs! As Brian mentioned in a previous post, we attended our first travel meeting this past week. We focused primarily on the itinerary and logistics of our upcoming trip. We were handed a huge suggested packing list with one caveat– for our several week trip, we can each have only 44 lbs of luggage (based on the luggage restrictions for in-China flights). Yes, 44 lbs is a lot of weight, but that has to include a fair amount of baby gear, enough clothing for at least a few days, and several small gifts for ceremonial gift exchanges with various officials. We also hope to do a fair amount of shopping during our journey to gather some things from Alexander’s home town and province.
Does anyone have any suggestions for packing light and packing smart for international travel? Especially you parents out there– do you have any creative ideas on essentials to include and what to just leave at home? One thing we’ve definitely decided is to bring a soft baby carrier to help with attachment rather than to haul a stroller.
Ideas please!
First Contact
This past weekend, we got to share our incredibly good news with several friends in the city during an annual Super Bowl party chili fest. Of course, much was discussed regarding our upcoming travel and grand adventure ahead. The big discussion though, was the important conversation about which order Brian should show Alexander the Star Wars films (answer? Read this) and which Star Trek films are essential for a proper upbringing ala STNG.
Equally important to geekifying our child, if not more so, is that we are now able to request updates and send care packages to Alexander. So far, we’ve received one update of photographs and are waiting on a developmental update. As far as care packages are concerned, we have been told to hope for the best but to expect the worst. More explicitly, we are encouraged to send a few photographs of us and a small comfort object in the hopes that their caregivers will share these to begin our bonding before we even meet. However, given the uncertainty of where Alexander is and who is caring for him, we need to be prepared that the package may never reach him, that it may be given to him on placement day, or that anything other than photographs are redistributed.
After a fair amount of agonizing (too soft! too pink! too tacky!), we settled on a small green and white polka dotted security blanket with a soft polar bear attached and a cushy, colorful photo album with Mandarin captions. The security blanket also came with a larger green and white blanket, which we’ll bring with us to China. Ideally, he’ll come to us with a well-worn album of photos and his little blanket. If the blanket doesn’t make it to placement day, perhaps he’ll remember the feel of the blanket or maybe even the texture/color. After seeing all the photos of little Alexander with stuffed toys and colorful clothing, it’s hard to believe that our little care package will be our first contact with our little guy and the first way of showing him how much we love him already.
Our Alexander Thomas
The moment we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived….. we have a son! On Monday evening, January 21, 2013, we received an email from our social worker that will change our lives forever. Staring back at us through my laptop screen were several photos of a little 10 month old boy diagnosed with severe cleft lip and palate. We continued to hold our breath throughout the week as we awaited several medical opinions on his medical records and lab reports. We heard what we expected to hear- that our little man is incredibly tiny for his age because of his medical diagnosis, and that he’ll need at least one surgery in the first few months home.
On Wednesday afternoon after a final consultation with the University of Chicago’s International Adoption Clinic, Brian and I looked at each other and couldn’t stop grinning. This little boy, who we have chosen to call Alexander Thomas, is our long-awaited son. After several phone calls (most of which ended up with all parties in tears), our application was electronically submitted early Thursday morning the 24th to the Chinese government and the countdown began.
Today, we received word from our agency that the Chinese government has issued us a preliminary approval (PA) for the adoption of little Alexander Thomas. Our huge dossier-o-life is now being scrutinized to make sure that we are a stable, loving, and healthy couple and a suitable home for this little guy. Once they have confirmed all of the information in our application, they will issue us a formal Letter of Acceptance (LOA) which we will have to sign and FedEx back to the Chinese government. Then the real fun of governments negotiating with governments begins. We hope, with fingers and toes crossed, that we will be able to travel by sometime in June at the latest.
But all in good time. For now, join us in the celebration that our family is growing, that this little boy, our son, has found his family.
We hope to be able to share more details about our son as soon as we can; until we officially sign the letter of acceptance, we will need to be sensitive about the information we share here. Feel free to contact us directly if you are interested in more details.
Auld lang syne
Sometimes, the unplanned moments are the most memorable.
The happiest and healthiest New Year to you from 67sixteen.org!
As many of us have already done, the year’s beginning is a great time to make resolutions. Let’s make this the year to get healthier, to love more, to worry less, and appreciate our lives’ blessings.
Believe it or not, this past year has been one of great anticipation and frustration for us. We keep saying to each other “This time next year…” things will be so different. It’s a fairly surreal feeling knowing that our lives will be changing dramatically this year. Somewhere out there on the other side of the world, there’s a little guy or girl in a crib completely unaware that their future parents, family, and community are incredibly eager to bring them home and make them feel safe, secure, and loved.
But for now, while we wait and I jump every time the phone rings, I resolve to remember this year and this feeling of hope. The above photo, taken when my dad tried to capture a New Year’s Eve celebration in our new Hawaiian garb from my namesake and honorary Aunt Kathleen, might be the funniest photo ever captured of my mom, myself, and my first childhood pet Missy. Though I couldn’t look at this photo for a solid year without crying, seeing it now makes me laugh. Life happens– loved ones enter and leave our lives, the news is full of surprising altruism and inexplicable tragedy… and sometimes your pets photobomb a well thought out photograph. May we all learn to accept and appreciate the unexpected joys and laughs of this year.
Sometimes life is most memorable when you least expect it.
All systems go!
In the middle of searching for some gifts for an upcoming baby shower tonight, the email arrived from our social worker.
We are logged in! That means that our social worker could find a referral for our future son or daughter RightThisMinute. We’re feeling giddy and a little overwhelmed– especially after spending the last weekend with some of our closest friends (one couple is REALLY pregnant, and the other couple has recently adopted the sweetest little boy from Russia). We’re seeing our lives change right before our eyes, and we couldn’t be happier!
The hard part
I figured I’d post a little update for you, as we’ve now entered into the first of a series of Long Waits ™. Our social worker told us this week that Log In Dates have been trickling in much slower than anticipated, and that we’re still waiting for ours. She is hopeful that ours will come in soon and is having our in-country contact check on our dossier for us. Having someone in China on staff at our agency is one of the major reasons we chose the agency we did– though waiting isn’t easy, it’s better knowing that someone is watching out for us over there.
On a positive note, we picked out our adoption clinic after consultation with a few hospitals and my favorite pediatrician-on-call. We found an awesome clinic through the University of Chicago– they will review our referral’s medical file and have an in-person or phone consult with us within our 72-hour window, and then will follow up once we’re home with our child. During subsequent visits, the department tries to lump multiple subspecialists if needed, resulting in fewer trips in to the city for everyone and a lot more teamwork between physicians. Although I hope we won’t have to make significant use of their services, I feel as though we have a strong team working with us.
DTC
Three letters that say so much- we are finally DTC! This is the Chinese adoptive families community’s acronym for Dossier To China, or All Systems Go! Our complete application has been processed through our agency, filed, and overnighted to Beijing. Probably within a week, we’ll be logged in to the official system, and we’ll be ready to meet our future son or daughter!
In other news, our Sunday night dinners took an exciting turn, as we tried making bao for the first time. For those who aren’t familiar, bao is a steamed bun often filled with meat or vegetables. We made bbq and ginger pork bao– which turned out fantastic! We cheated by using this recipe for a lazy Sunday night dinner, but for our first time, they turned out wonderfully!
Anyone have any tips on cleaning bamboo steamer baskets?
Nesting 101
This is a post for all the ladies out there.
Nesting. Wow, even though it’s the subject of many a jokes (and websites!), it’s a scary, scary, fact. There’s a strange maternal nesting instinct that kicks in at some point that screams to fill your chest freezer, knit baby booties, and make sweeping, unrealistic long-term plans.
I present Exhibit A (aka Last Sunday’s decision to make “a little extra for dinner”)
Must. Fill. Freezer. Must. Bake. Stuffed Shells.
I’m sure all you ladies out there who have experienced pregnancy before or who are pregnant now know the cruel, cruel power of nesting. One day, you’re sitting peacefully and enjoying life. The next day, you feel a burning urge to start baking and freezing, canning and freeze-drying rations like you’re Carolyn Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie. Your husband just stares at you cluelessly, and offers only the input, “Well, if you’re gonna make muffins, can you put chocolate chips in them?”
Though I don’t think it’s a horrible thing to experience, I didn’t expect it to impact me as much as it has as an adoptive mom-to-be. The big negative here? Since we still don’t have a firm date of when we’ll be bringing our child home, I spend a good chunk of my nesting energy telling Brian “I feel antsy!” This is Kathleen-speak for “I know I should be doing something to ensure that my child will never run out of frozen dinners, but I don’t know enough details to make a reasonable estimate!” Still, I’ve managed to put several meals into the freezer, which will at the very least provide for some easy go-to meals during the holiday season.
Moms (and dads) of all ages and folks who know exactly what I’m talking about, please spill your nesting stories. You KNOW you have them. Just how many quarts of vegetable soup did you freeze??? And this would also be a great time to pass along your best freeze-and-go recipes. On your mark, get set….. Share!