You would think that by this time, they’d have mug shots of Alexander and I up at our favorite home and garden store. No, no, we have never committed a crime, but we are forcefully pleasant when it comes to following up on poor plant stock organization. Today’s awesome bargain was a beautiful variegated rhododendron that was apparently mismarked. After speaking to a sales associate back in the plant section and having the great price confirmed, I went to check out and inevitably was told that it was full price. As Alexander proceeded to work it with smiling and waving, I implored the cashier to go back and check the display and talk to her fellow employee. If there’s one thing that irritates me to no end, it’s improperly labeled sales where the only thing actually applicable for a sale is “between the ashtrays and the thimble, anything in this three inches right here, that includes the chicklets but not the erasers.” (Two points if you get the movie reference!)

The end of this story is that the cashier didn’t want to fact-check me (which I wish she would have), and Alexander and I walked out with our fantastic rhododendron.  Call me a nitpicker or a customer service nightmare, but let me tell you– after continuing to survive the red tape of multiple levels of several governments as recent as 5 minutes before our plant purchase, I can say with confidence that technicalities are my specialty.

And you probably thought that we were finished with jumping through hoops and cutting through red tape!

Though Alexander was officially a US Citizen as soon as DHS handed him back his stamped passport, we knew his road to being a full-fledged, card-carrying (quite literally) American was still fairly long. Luckily, our adoption agency gave us a heads-up as to what we needed to apply for, what to remind people to send us, and how patient we should be with Our Government.

In order for Alexander to apply for a social security number and become eligible for credit cards, political mailings, and of course, identity theft, we would need to provide proof that he is a US Citizen. Because of recent laws changing the way internationally-adopted children can become citizens, Our Government needed to create a physical document certifying that yes, Alexander is officially a citizen. We were informed while in China by the US Consulate that these would be mailed out to us within 60 days of our return home, at which point we should then apply for his social security number.

As most things tend to go when it comes to standard paperwork windows, I patiently waited our 60 days.   On day 61, I fired an email out to USCIS inquiring about our little guy’s Certificate of Citizenship (sounds official, no?). I received a most polite and apologetic email within the hour! Apparently, USCIS is way behind in issuing these, and the estimated turn-around (had we not contacted them) was upwards of 4 months. Since we had directly inquired about his paperwork status, my case was expedited, and I was promised that his forms would be mailed out within the week.

True to their word, I received two emails days later with both a UPS tracking code, and a personal email from a USCIS officer thanking us for our patience and for following up. Our Government continues to surprise me with how efficient it can be when it’s on a person-to-person level. Sure, the levels of bureaucracy aren’t completely gone (ie- read our entire adoption blog A Wide Sea for confirmation) in addition to Alexander getting to help me spend 20 minutes on-hold with the IRS just last week. Which, by the way, for those of you with little kids who love phones, they’re not only excited to get to hold the phone, but it plays music! Although I’m photo-documenting just about every second of this kid’s life, I wish I would have snapped a photo of him totally jazzed to be on hold with the IRS. Seriously, it made his afternoon! May we all be so happy about this!

But back to the COC (Yes! One more acronym!) It arrived on– get this– Constitution Day! We did manage a photo of Alexander with his certificate, but it contains so much sensitive information, that it would basically look like a blank sheet once we fuzzed out all the important stuff. It does have a photo of him taken before his medical appointment in China; it just hit me that his official photograph for USCIS is a slightly wrinkled maroon pocket t-shirt and madras shorts. Since this is practically his father’s summer uniform, it seems only appropriate that it’s now on record in perpetuity as “like father, like son.”

Now that we have Alexander’s proof of citizenship, we were able to file for his social. We had a thrilling trip this morning to our local SSA, and within 15 minutes, we were in and out. It took longer to unfold the stroller and sign in than it did to take care of paperwork.

We rounded out our day post-government with our rhodendron purchase and stopping at the library to get his library card and check out his first book. He was his normal chatty, perky self, and soon we had several fellow toddlers and their moms around us sharing drool, random vocalizations, and what board books looked tastiest to teethe on. Alexander left with a Sandra Boynton book about dinosaurs.  True, I gave him a choice of only Boynton books because: 1. they’re colorful, 2. they rhyme, 3. they’re small books, and 4. they’re short! Just like his mom would do, he selected the largest book with the most words. Reading the pages to him before he turns the page is like training to be an auctioneer. Still, he continues to be thrilled with his selection when he’s willing to take a 30 second break from doing laps around our coffee table.

Read faster! Read faster!

Aside from getting the rest of our new little citizen’s paperwork in the mail, we still need to initiate readoption for the State of Illinois, which will provide him with a state-issued record of foreign birth (as opposed to trying to use a Chinese provincial document with location of “unknown”). If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, Our Government doesn’t like the word “unknown.”  For all of the drama we’ve encountered so far though, all of Alexander’s medical paperwork has been a much-needed breeze.

Now, I just need to get this rhododendron’s roots established before we’re diverted again with Alexander’s next surgery, which is schedule for Oct 23rd. I can’t believe September is more than half over, but I feel as though we’re really settling into our family routine. I’ve always loved fall for the pumpkins, the apples, the mums, the cool weather, and the warm sweaters. Now that we’ve finally gotten our little guy in the System, we can sit back a little and enjoy autumnal bliss.

Tiny quarter-zip sweaters are reason alone to raise a son!