Free Kokkinisto! : A Special Commentary
By Alexander the Great, Regional Correspondent in the Crib Upstairs
Dear friends, I share with you today yet another horrific injustice about which I can no longer remain silent. For the past five months, while I have been encouraged to explore my home, my trusted friend and colleague Kokkinisto has had to remain in the crib. I repeat– Kokkinisto has been forced to stay in the crib despite my protestations about freedom for all stuffed animals and beloved blankets. Granted, Kokkinisto doesn’t have legs, but I don’t think he’d allow such a technicality to keep him from the great beyond.
Sure, one might argue that Kokko is a veritable petri dish of germs without even being allowed beyond my bedroom door, but why is that his fault? Besides, it’s not his choice that his soft ears are so useful for teething. And for the record, it seems as though when my beloved friend begins to show his wear, the next time I see him, he smells of fresh laundry and dryer sheets. I do find it odd that the one time The Management removed a rather dirty sheep blanket from my hands, almost instantly he was returned to me fresh and new. Granted, he looked a tiny bit different, but who can blame him for all he’s been through??
Again, I implore you, on behalf of Kokkinisto and all trusted security blankets/animals everywhere, free them from the shackles of their non-dropside cribs! Who is there to comfort us when we’re falling asleep? Kokko! Who is there for us to teethe on when we wake up in the middle of the night with painful gums? Kokko! Why are we wailing in darkness at 2 am just enough to wake up The Management? Because we can’t find Kokko! And who are we forced to “drop in the crib” when we’re cruelly woken up at the uncivil hour of 8 am every morning? Oh Kokko…
There has to be something in one of these Childcrafts about unlawful incarceration!
Someday, Kokkinisto, my companion and comrade, I will make a stronger case for your freedom. I will ensure that you can roam the pastures in freedom and peace. But until then, I will fight on your behalf. Wait, what’s that? Naptime is over? It’s snacktime? Why yes, some applesauce does sound fantastic! Kokko, I won’t let these temptations of nutritious snacks and educational toys separate me from your cause; there just might be a little delay. I’ll be back, I promise. Most likely at bedtime.
Post script- The author of this editorial in no way represents the opinions of Have Stroller, Will Travel. We also respectfully request that our guest contributor not look in the second drawer of his dresser to find Kokko’s long-lost brother.