It’s been far too long since Brian has witnessed me have a meltdown at a UPS/FedEx store. Well, it’s about time! Continue reading
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Category Archives: Travel
China: “It’s official. He’s your son.”
Finally! After more than 50 long days of waiting for a DHL truck to arrive, it’s here! Continue reading
Please hold…
Although I feel as though the adoption process is a long series of “hurry up and wait,” I think we’re hitting the tail end of what might be considered the hardest wait of all. Many many of you have asked where we are in the process and when we are traveling.Although I was tempted to wait to make the next post when we received our final letter of approval, I feel compelled to share our frustrations with you too. I promised myself that if we were going to share this adoption journey with friends and family, that they wouldn’t hear the sanitized version where everyone is joyful and patient. In truth, the indeterminate waiting and long paperchases are emotionally exhausting. This week also marked a special celebration for our family, as Alexander turned one on Monday. It was a bittersweet occasion knowing we couldn’t be with him to celebrate such a milestone.
At present, we are waiting on the LOA– a formal Letter of Acceptance/Approval issued from the Chinese government to us for Alexander. It’s funny that in the end after all the electronic log ins and whatnot that we still need to physically sign a paper and FedEx it back to their government. As soon as we sign and return the paper, their government has given us final approval. The LOA also rekindles our dealings with USCIS. As soon as this letter arrives, a copy is included in our petition for Alexander to be classified as a US citizen as soon as we clear customs on our return home.
The difficulty in waiting for the LOA is the huge question of how long it takes to arrive. Some families get their LOA in a matter of days or weeks– others have been waiting well over 100 days! We have now hit Day 46 in our wait for our LOA. Our agency was kind enough to inquire twice to the Chinese government on our behalf; the first time it sounded as though the letter would be issued that week, but a change in how these letters are being cleared and mailed caused a weeklong delay in processing. The latest we heard was a direct promise that our letter would be mailed THIS week. Given the time difference and shipping time, we might not get that letter into our hands until sometime the following week. A slightly sad follow-up is that although we have prepared our care package, we need to wait until our letter arrives in order to be able send anything directly to Alexander (including medical supplies for his cleft-affecting feeding).
Please keep the prayers and warm wishes flowing for Alexander and for our family in general. We are so grateful for your support through all of this, but especially through these trying and frustrating weeks.
44 pounds
44 lbs.
No, that is NOT Alexander’s current weight! Our little guy, like many internationally adopted children, is very small for his age. Although he turns one early next month, his measurements and weight are much more in line with a child less than half his age. Though that caused some initial panic from us, our medical team ensured us that he’ll sprout up and fatten out as soon as we get him home and on a more advanced diet. Additionally, because of his medical condition, eating is a much more laborious task.
So back to the 44 lbs! As Brian mentioned in a previous post, we attended our first travel meeting this past week. We focused primarily on the itinerary and logistics of our upcoming trip. We were handed a huge suggested packing list with one caveat– for our several week trip, we can each have only 44 lbs of luggage (based on the luggage restrictions for in-China flights). Yes, 44 lbs is a lot of weight, but that has to include a fair amount of baby gear, enough clothing for at least a few days, and several small gifts for ceremonial gift exchanges with various officials. We also hope to do a fair amount of shopping during our journey to gather some things from Alexander’s home town and province.
Does anyone have any suggestions for packing light and packing smart for international travel? Especially you parents out there– do you have any creative ideas on essentials to include and what to just leave at home? One thing we’ve definitely decided is to bring a soft baby carrier to help with attachment rather than to haul a stroller.
Ideas please!
Travel Meeting #1
Tonight, we met a few folks that we might be traveling to China with. We’re going to have a few meetings where we discuss the logistics and details and whatnot. But of course, the meeting began with the ceremonial exchange of adorable kid photos. Phones were passed, and some people even had print outs.
There’s one other couple who is adopting a child from the same province that we are, so it’s possible that we’ll be traveling together. Regardless, we’ll have a local translator/fixer on hand during throughout our trip. We also found out about the piles of money we’ll be bringing, and how to keep it all from getting folded or wet. And don’t drink the water.
Overall, there wasn’t much new tonight, but it was still a nice review, and it was good to share with other families getting ready for this crazy journey. Just a few more months..
First Contact
This past weekend, we got to share our incredibly good news with several friends in the city during an annual Super Bowl party chili fest. Of course, much was discussed regarding our upcoming travel and grand adventure ahead. The big discussion though, was the important conversation about which order Brian should show Alexander the Star Wars films (answer? Read this) and which Star Trek films are essential for a proper upbringing ala STNG.
Equally important to geekifying our child, if not more so, is that we are now able to request updates and send care packages to Alexander. So far, we’ve received one update of photographs and are waiting on a developmental update. As far as care packages are concerned, we have been told to hope for the best but to expect the worst. More explicitly, we are encouraged to send a few photographs of us and a small comfort object in the hopes that their caregivers will share these to begin our bonding before we even meet. However, given the uncertainty of where Alexander is and who is caring for him, we need to be prepared that the package may never reach him, that it may be given to him on placement day, or that anything other than photographs are redistributed.
After a fair amount of agonizing (too soft! too pink! too tacky!), we settled on a small green and white polka dotted security blanket with a soft polar bear attached and a cushy, colorful photo album with Mandarin captions. The security blanket also came with a larger green and white blanket, which we’ll bring with us to China. Ideally, he’ll come to us with a well-worn album of photos and his little blanket. If the blanket doesn’t make it to placement day, perhaps he’ll remember the feel of the blanket or maybe even the texture/color. After seeing all the photos of little Alexander with stuffed toys and colorful clothing, it’s hard to believe that our little care package will be our first contact with our little guy and the first way of showing him how much we love him already.
Our Alexander Thomas
The moment we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived….. we have a son! On Monday evening, January 21, 2013, we received an email from our social worker that will change our lives forever. Staring back at us through my laptop screen were several photos of a little 10 month old boy diagnosed with severe cleft lip and palate. We continued to hold our breath throughout the week as we awaited several medical opinions on his medical records and lab reports. We heard what we expected to hear- that our little man is incredibly tiny for his age because of his medical diagnosis, and that he’ll need at least one surgery in the first few months home.
On Wednesday afternoon after a final consultation with the University of Chicago’s International Adoption Clinic, Brian and I looked at each other and couldn’t stop grinning. This little boy, who we have chosen to call Alexander Thomas, is our long-awaited son. After several phone calls (most of which ended up with all parties in tears), our application was electronically submitted early Thursday morning the 24th to the Chinese government and the countdown began.
Today, we received word from our agency that the Chinese government has issued us a preliminary approval (PA) for the adoption of little Alexander Thomas. Our huge dossier-o-life is now being scrutinized to make sure that we are a stable, loving, and healthy couple and a suitable home for this little guy. Once they have confirmed all of the information in our application, they will issue us a formal Letter of Acceptance (LOA) which we will have to sign and FedEx back to the Chinese government. Then the real fun of governments negotiating with governments begins. We hope, with fingers and toes crossed, that we will be able to travel by sometime in June at the latest.
But all in good time. For now, join us in the celebration that our family is growing, that this little boy, our son, has found his family.
We hope to be able to share more details about our son as soon as we can; until we officially sign the letter of acceptance, we will need to be sensitive about the information we share here. Feel free to contact us directly if you are interested in more details.
Auld lang syne
Sometimes, the unplanned moments are the most memorable.
The happiest and healthiest New Year to you from 67sixteen.org!
As many of us have already done, the year’s beginning is a great time to make resolutions. Let’s make this the year to get healthier, to love more, to worry less, and appreciate our lives’ blessings.
Believe it or not, this past year has been one of great anticipation and frustration for us. We keep saying to each other “This time next year…” things will be so different. It’s a fairly surreal feeling knowing that our lives will be changing dramatically this year. Somewhere out there on the other side of the world, there’s a little guy or girl in a crib completely unaware that their future parents, family, and community are incredibly eager to bring them home and make them feel safe, secure, and loved.
But for now, while we wait and I jump every time the phone rings, I resolve to remember this year and this feeling of hope. The above photo, taken when my dad tried to capture a New Year’s Eve celebration in our new Hawaiian garb from my namesake and honorary Aunt Kathleen, might be the funniest photo ever captured of my mom, myself, and my first childhood pet Missy. Though I couldn’t look at this photo for a solid year without crying, seeing it now makes me laugh. Life happens– loved ones enter and leave our lives, the news is full of surprising altruism and inexplicable tragedy… and sometimes your pets photobomb a well thought out photograph. May we all learn to accept and appreciate the unexpected joys and laughs of this year.
Sometimes life is most memorable when you least expect it.
All systems go!
In the middle of searching for some gifts for an upcoming baby shower tonight, the email arrived from our social worker.
We are logged in! That means that our social worker could find a referral for our future son or daughter RightThisMinute. We’re feeling giddy and a little overwhelmed– especially after spending the last weekend with some of our closest friends (one couple is REALLY pregnant, and the other couple has recently adopted the sweetest little boy from Russia). We’re seeing our lives change right before our eyes, and we couldn’t be happier!
The hard part
I figured I’d post a little update for you, as we’ve now entered into the first of a series of Long Waits ™. Our social worker told us this week that Log In Dates have been trickling in much slower than anticipated, and that we’re still waiting for ours. She is hopeful that ours will come in soon and is having our in-country contact check on our dossier for us. Having someone in China on staff at our agency is one of the major reasons we chose the agency we did– though waiting isn’t easy, it’s better knowing that someone is watching out for us over there.
On a positive note, we picked out our adoption clinic after consultation with a few hospitals and my favorite pediatrician-on-call. We found an awesome clinic through the University of Chicago– they will review our referral’s medical file and have an in-person or phone consult with us within our 72-hour window, and then will follow up once we’re home with our child. During subsequent visits, the department tries to lump multiple subspecialists if needed, resulting in fewer trips in to the city for everyone and a lot more teamwork between physicians. Although I hope we won’t have to make significant use of their services, I feel as though we have a strong team working with us.